“The Official Historian on Shirley Jean Berrell” is a song recorded American country music group The Statler Brothers. The song was released in November 1978 as the third and final single from their album Entertainers… On and Off the Record.

Written by group members Don Reid and Harold Reid, the song is an uptempo recollection on various details in the life of the eponymous Shirley Jean Berrell, a woman whom the narrator knows. At the end of the song, the narrator then reveals the one detail that he does not know about her: “where she is right now”.

Cashbox published a positive review of the song, which stated that “This song…is tailor made for the group. The foursome lightheartedly carry a listener down memory lane again and their vocal harmonizing never sounded better.”

From the album Entertainers…On and Off the Record
B-side “The Best That I Can Do”
Released November 1978
Genre Country
Length 2:15
Label Mercury
Songwriter(s) Don Reid. Harold Reid
Producer(s) Jerry Kennedy

The Statler Brothers – The Official Historian On Shirley Jean Berrell Lyrics

I’m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I’ve know her since God only knows and I won’t tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And surely she knows me just as well

I can tell you her birthday and her daddy?s middle name
The uncles on her mama?s side and the once they don’t claim
What she’s got for Christmas since 1952
And that’s only the beginning of the things I could tell you

Cause I’m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I’ve known her since God only knows and I won’t tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And surely she knows me just as well

I can tell you her favorite song and where she likes to park
And why to this very day she’s scared of the dark
How she got her nickname and that scar behind her knee
If there’s anything you need to know about Shirley just ask me

I know where she’s ticklish and her every little quirk
The funnies she don’t read and her number at work
I know what she stands for and what she won’t allow
The only thing that I don’t know is where she is right now

But I’m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I’ve know her since God only knows and I won’t tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And surely she knows me just as well

Oh, surely she knows me just as well