I’m Gonna Hire Wino to Decorate Our Home, song written by Dewayne Blackwell, was recorded by David Frizzell for the Warner label, it was recorded in March 1982 at Britannia Studio, Hollywood, CA. With the production of Snuff Garrett & Steve Dorff, was released in April 1982, on August 14, 1982, reached the number # 1 on the charts of US Hot Country Songs, remained 23 weeks on the charts. On the charts of Canadian RPM Country Tracks, reached number # 3. It was his second and last number one of his career.
The song was included on David’s third studio album, The Family’s Fine, But This One’s All Mine (Warner / Viva 1982), on the charts of U.S Top Country Albums reached number # 7.
Song with an Original lyrics, where the wife decides to redecorate her home, and transform it into a bar, so that her husband stays at home, and brings her drinking friends, so they spend the money at the bar, and the next morning while the husband recovers from the hangover, she will enter the benefits in the bank.
David Frizzell – I’m Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home Lyrics
I came crawling home last night, like many nights before:
I finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door.
And she said, «You’re not gonna do this anymore.»
She said: «I’m gonna’ hire a wino to decorate our home,
«So you’ll feel more at ease here, and you won’t have to roam.
«We’ll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
«And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall.»
She said: «Just bring your Friday paycheck, and I’ll cash them all right here.
«And I’ll keep on tap – for all your friends, their favorite kinds of beer.
«And for you, I’ll always keep in stock, those soft aluminum cans.
«And when you’re feeling macho, you can crush them like a man.»
She said: «We’ll rip out all the carpet, and put sawdust on the floor.
«Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels, and I won’t cook no more.
«There’ll be Monday night football, on T.V. above the bar.
«And a pay phone in the hallway, when your friends can’t find their car.»
She said: «I’m gonna’ hire a wino to decorate our home,
«So you’ll feel more at ease here, and you won’t have to roam.
«We’ll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
«And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall.»
She said: «You’ll get friendly service, and for added atmosphere.
«I’ll slip on something sexy, and I’ll cut it clear to here.
«Then you can slap my bottom, every time you tell a joke.
«Just as long as you keep tipping, well, I’ll laugh until you’re broke.»
She said: «Instead of family quarrels, we’ll have a bar-room brawl,
«When the Ham’s bear say’s its closing time, you won’t have far to crawl.
«And when you run out of money, you’ll have me to thank.
«You can sleep it off next morning, when I’m putting it in the bank.»
She said: «I’m gonna’ hire a wino, to decorate our home,
«So you can feel more at ease here, and you won’t have to roam.
«When you and your friends get off from work, and have a powerful thirst.
«There won’t be any reason, why you can’t stop off here first.»
She said: «I’m gonna’ hire a wino to decorate our home,
«So you’ll feel more at ease here, and you won’t have to roam.
«We’ll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
«And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall.»