Moe Bandy And Joe Stampley – Where’s The Dress, is a song by American country music singers Moe Bandy and Joe Stampley. It was released in 1984 as a single from The Good Ol’ Boys — Alive and Well, their collaborative album on Columbia Records. The song is a satire of the English pop band Culture Club.
The song also featured a music video, directed by Rod Thompson and produced by Jim Owens. In 1985, it won the award for Best Country Video at the American Video Awards. Similarly to the song’s concept, the video features the two singers cross-dressing.
Moe Bandy And Joe Stampley – Where’s The Dress
From the album The Good Ol’ Boys — Alive and Well
B-side “Wildlife Sanctuary”
Released 1984
Genre Country
Length 2:48
Label Columbia
Songwriter(s) George Cummings Bucky Lindsey. Tony Stampley
Producer(s) Blake Mevis
COUNTRYPEDIA
Moe Bandy And Joe Stampley – Where’s The Dress Lyrics
Moe, I saw it on the TV, and I thought it was a shame.
It was a man dressed like a woman, and he had a boy’s name.
Well, I heard it on the radio, while I was in the tub.
Now Joe, what in the world is this thing they call the c**ture Club?
Well it’s some old boy from England, Moe,
And he’s making a million bucks.
Joe, we’ll never make a million . . . driving these old trucks.
Too many nights of drinking, losing football bets,
Lately we’d do anything to get us out of debt . . .
CHORUS:
Where’s the dress? Give me them high-heeled shoes!
Where’s the dress? We’ll be money-making fools.
We might close the bars down, and cause a few arrests,
But if it makes some money, tell me where’s the dress.
Well, I’ll hire me a nurse to tote my purse
And I’ll keep it full of beer.
Yeah, and I’ll have a girl to drive my truck
And one to tease my hair.
We can still go fishing, wear our old blue jeans;
But when it comes to showtime, we’ll be country queens . . .
REPEAT CHORUS
(Where’s the dress?)
Now Moe, let’s get on down to the store
and get some lipstick and some rouge.
(Where’s the dress?)
Hey Joe, why don’t we do this thing up right
and get some of them ostrich plumes?
(Where’s the dress?)
You know, I was wondering if they made
a pink pump in size 12, Moe?
(Where’s the dress?)
You don’t think that old boy from England
shaves his legs, do you Joe?
(Where’s the dress?)
Well I don’t know but it would take a *butcher*
to cut the hair off our legs, Moe
(Where’s the dress?)
Well I can see it now, Boy Moe,
Boy Joe and the Grand Old Opry
(Where’s the dress?)
Uh-uh Moe, I don’t think ol’ Roy would like
that at all, uh-uh, no, no way, Moe
(Where’s the dress?)
I can’t wait to see you Joe in one
of them Cross Your Heart brassieres, yeah
(Where’s the dress?)
I’ll tell you what, Moe, you’re gonna
look good in them pink pantyhose
flashlyrics
